Feb 2, 2011

Full disclosure: Superior inferiority

Here's a bit of news: I'm not you.

I know, right?!?! I was shocked too!

It should be obvious that I'm not you but I still have to remind myself  every now and then. Sometimes I'm a little surprised by it.  Um, maybe surprised  isn't the best word. Maybe...


Yup, that's probably more accurate.

{whisper whisper whisper}
What's that you say?
Yes you're right, I am super-duper awesome!
So why the disappointment?

You see, some of the things that seem to make so many of you pretty darn cool are the things that I don't have. They're the things you're most proud of, the things that you want to scream to the world. So the easiest and shortest logical connection in my little pea brain goes like this:

I think you're awesome
you have {blank}
I don't have {blank}
so I must not be awesome.

{Use your circus announcer voice for this next part.}

"Laaaaaaadies and gentlemen! Step right up, and see Carla, the amazing illogical thinker! Watch as she goes from fact to complete & absolute delusion, in just four quick steps!!"

Now, don't get me wrong, I always make the trip back to fact. Eventually. But it's exhausting!

I'm not a mom. I'm not a student. I'm not a wife. I'm not a devoted church-goer. I'm not a girlfriend.  I'm not a whatever (photographer, designer, consultant, writer, painter, nurse, teacher, etc).  I don't have play dates or dinner parties. Heck, I don't have dates at all!  I haven't hiked Mt. Fuji or skied in Colorado. I don't have a backyard to garden or a home of my own to decorate.

Turns out one of the things I'm really, really good at....
....is making myself feel really, really bad.

If I were a superhero and that were my superpower, what would my name be?  Buzz-kill Girl? I'd fly around spreading doubt and insecurities world wide!

"Gee, Carla, you really ARE a buzz-kill! Do you have anything nice to say today?"

Yes, I do. Thing is, even with all of these things that I'm not I do still think I'm pretty rad. (Yup, I said it. Let's bring "rad" back.).

So I'm gonna keep reminding myself of that. Over and over again. To the point of exhaustion. And some days, I might need reminders.

So that really cute tee you made for your son? Guess I'll make one for my niece.
Those pics you took of you & hubby at the park? Maybe I'll go for a walk & make some furry friends.
That trip to Paris you remember so fondly? My trip to the fabric store two blocks down wasn't half bad.

It's a work in progress. But it's mine.


  1. Thank you so much for your comment on my blog. In turn I would like to say, thank YOU for being honest. I feel very similarly. It's so beyond easy to compare myself to every.single.person. I meet/stalk (in person or in this kinda weird blog-land). So glad you commented because your blog is great. This post alone makes it excellent!

  2. Thanks Julie! It is a *very* strange blogland, isn't it?! Guess we'll just have to keep reminding ourselves *pat on the back*

    Seriously, thanks. And I have to say, your post was near & dear to my heart (almost literally) as I too am a Sweat-er :) High five!



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