Apr 4, 2011

On faulty reasoning

{Note: That I erased the header & tons of my pictures from the hosting site, leaving the blog to look crazy, doesn't reflect my superb intellect, I promise!}

I like to think I’m a fairly smart person. Not brilliant in many respects and I’d fail miserably at Jeopardy or Trivial Pursuit, but I can get by.

I placed 6th in my graduating HS class, earned myself three college scholarships, graduated early with honors, have remained debt-free, etc. Oh and I’ve managed to avoid parking tickets, drunken tattoos, acrylic nails, bee stings, jail time, drug use, broken bones, and animal-print leggings.

Lucky? Probably. Smart? You would think, right?

And yet I often have the reasoning of a two-year-old. On the daily, I make the leap from Truth to Absolute-Unfounded-Nonsense in a split second. {Here’s one example of that} My logic seems to follow a pattern most intuitive to the toddler mind, as in:
If: Dogs have 4 legs.
And: Dogs bark.
And: Cows also have 4 legs.
Then:  Cows also bark.

Last week I came up with this genius life-changing action plan:
Step 1: Make work bearable until I come up with a better plan.
Step 2: Come up with a better plan.
(I mean, really, who needs specifics? Not this girl!)

These moments of brilliance happen more often than I care to admit, and few are privy to these bits of wisdom (except for poor, poor V. who continues to be subjected to my tireless ramblings and questionable math skills. Even via text at 3:00 am. That’s a friend!).

Today’s product of my mental prowess went a little something like this:
I feel like writing today. (Really, I feel like that most days.)
I can only think of negative things to write about.
So I will not write.
Mind-blowing excellence, isn’t it?! The last part is a nod to the fact that  I’ve been feeling super whiny (for lack of a more eloquent way to express my mental state) and I’m a little concerned about the amount of negativity that’s been flowing out of me lately. Now, those of you with more sense than I may notice two things...
  • I am, in fact, writing by posting this.
  • It didn’t occur to me to look for positive things to write about.
So I’ve made a mental edit.
I feel like writing today.
If I can only think of negative things to write about
I will look for positives
And I will not write.
Granted, It’s no major scientific discovery or literary masterpiece, but I think it’s a big step up from the dreaded “toddler logic” I really should avoid.

Kind of like eating more Oreos because they’re the low-fat kind. Faulty reasoning, perhaps, but I subscribe to this particular Oreo philosophy pretty strictly and I doubt that will change. Ever.

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