Full Disclosure: It's not you, it's...

by Mary R. Voght

I know he never, ever, ever reads this blog, so I’m completely comfortable with what’s about to go down here. Prepare yourself, folks. This ain’t gonna be pretty (or brief).

I’m not in love, but I like him enough.

{"Wait, what?!" I know, I know…. if you’ve been reading along you probably thought I was hopelessly single. Read on.}

We’ve been seeing each other for about a year and a half now.  When we met, it wasn’t exactly puppy dogs and ice cream between us. But the timing was just right. We didn't dislike each other but we've never been head-over-heels, butterfly-in-the-stomach lovey-dovey with each other.  Well, maybe he was with me. I don’t know. I do know:

-We don’t have fun together. 

Sometimes we do, but most of the time he aggravates the #*&$ out of me. But there are good moments, and there's not really bad moments (ever), just blah. All the time.

-I don’t care if I don’t see him. 

Even if a week goes by. Most of the time, I don’t even look forward to it. Not because I anticipate we’ll have a bad time, just because I could find something else to do. I don’t care to show up on time for our dates, and I’m always happy if the evening ends early. 

-He’s uninspiring.  

And  a little boring for my taste.  I don’t think wanting a decent, entertaining, stimulating conversation with someone is too much to ask for. 

+He doesn’t make me want to be better.

It’s not that he doesn’t want me to grow or be happy, but I think for him, I’m exactly everything he needs. So I don’t have to do much else.  I don’t care to work-out to look even hotter, or cook to impress him, or 

surprise him or be romantic. Nope, no “extra mile” effort from me.

 

He’s not a bad guy. I guess this is the part where I should tell you what I actually like about him:

+He compliments me often. 

Bores the heck out of me, and I by no means want to marry-have kids-build a life with him, but he helps pass the time and does make me feel wanted.

+He bails me out with bills. 

He lets me get all the cake & ice cream I want and helps with groceries & gas money. And rent.

+He’ll humor me.

Lets me take a last minute trips, and I was able to get a nice little apartment in a great neighborhood because of him. He pretty much lets me do what I want, when I want. 

So I have to wonder, is there someone better suited for me?

Now, I know it’s not supposed to be perfect, and I know relationships aren’t fun all the time. I’ve thought about leaving him.  I don’t know when I’ll find someone else. I’ve tried the online sites, and I get no responses back. None. 

What if the next guy is even worse?! What if no one comes back around for months? Years? 

So, why stay with him? I don't expect perfection, but he just doesn’t do much for me.

I can’t think of any good reasons. 

 I deserve better, right?

Don’t we all deserve better?

Would you feel the same way if you knew I was talking about my job? 

Why do we continue to allow, accept, and even promote such unhealthy relationships with our jobs?! That’s just how it is, right? Your job isn’t supposed to make you happy. It’s alright if it’s just “good enough.” 

If it pays the bills. If it bores you to pieces.

It's not you, it's me.

I don’t think we should see each other anymore.

Someday, you’ll make someone very happy.

I'm sorry job, but I think it’s time I move on.